[news] Baby falls under Melbourne train and survives

Wow–what a story.  A baby fell on to a train track in Melbourne, Australia and survived with a scratch on its head!  The engineer is being treated for shock.

See the gut-wrenching video here as broadcast by CNN!

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Beware of little girls on planes [humor]

Image via Wikipedia

A stranger is seated next to a little girl on an airplane when he turns to her and says, “Let’s talk.  I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger.”

The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and says to the stranger, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” smiles the stranger.  “How about nuclear power?”

“Ok,” she says.  “That could be an interesting topic but let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff–grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.  Why do you suppose that is?”

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Don’t take life so seriously [photos]

DANCE

REST

GET RETAIL THERAPY

SLEEP

KISS A LOT

RELAX IN NATURE

HAVE FUN

GIGGLE A LOT

SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS

TAKE A BUBBLE BATH

And be happy!

A mother’s job description

* Copied from a forwarded email.  If you are the author, please let me know so I can give proper attribution.

POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mum, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:

• Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 
• Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. 
• Some overnight travel required including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. 
• Travel expenses not reimbursed. 
• Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:  The rest of your life. 

• Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily until someone needs $5. 
• Must be willing to possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60mph in three seconds flat, in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not from someone crying wolf. 
• Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. 
• Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 
• Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 
• Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery-operated devices. 
• Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 
• Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. 
• Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none.  Your job is to remain in the same position for years without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately.  On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES & COMPENSATION: You pay them!  Offering frequent raises and bonuses.  A balloon payment is due when they turn 18.  When you die, you give them whatever is left.  The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

 

                  

7 year old boy drives car [news/video]

Boy walks away from accident unscathed [video]

This is a lucky little boy…

What accidents did you walk away from unharmed?

Baby preacher! [video]

Image via Wikipedia

I remember reading various biblical passages where God tells various people that they, or their children, were called to be prophets even in the womb.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. –Jeremiah 1:5

Perhaps that’s what was planned for this child!  Watch the baby in action in this video clip.

Protective tip for anyone traveling with children

Image by Marvin (PA) via Flickr

Bridget [Smith] (author of The Unauthorized Legoland Guidebook) offers this common-sense travel tip:

…Take a picture of your kids with a digital camera BEFORE entering an amusement park [...or sporting event, or zoo, or any other crowded place -- Ed]. That way if your child gets lost, you can show theme park personnel EXACTLY what he or she looks like including hair color, eye color, and clothing.

Source

I DARE you not to laugh…[video]

I needed some cheering up today and found this video.  Laughter sure does the soul good; especially the laughter of infants!  This child has the most infectious giggle.  Have a listen.

Start your day laughing.

Boy calls 911 to get help with math problem [audio]

This is so cute.  A four-year-old boy calls the police to ask for help with a math problem.  Towards the end you hear the  mother scolding her son for calling 911.

Audio

Results when dad dresses up his child [photos]

We all know that Mums love to dress up their kids.  But when Dad is a graphic designer, anything is possible..  

It all started out with the innocent baby picture below…

These photos were forwarded in an email.

Obama daughters’ swing set [photo]

Source

Angels (as explained by children)

Image by Giampaolo Macorig via Flickr

I only know two angels: Hark and Harold. –Gregory, 5

Everybody’s got it all wrong.  Angels don’t wear halos anymore.  I forget why, but scientists are working on it. –Olive, 9

It’s not easy to become an angel!  First, you die.  Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through.  And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. –Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. –Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science. –Henry, 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!! –Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven.  The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. –Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten.  And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado. –Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy.  If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow.  Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. –Sarah, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good carpenter.  –Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t go for it. –Antonio, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year.  She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. –Chris, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets.  And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. –Vicki, 8

What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. –Sarah, 7

Oh, to have the mind of a child!

Toddler gets car keys lodged in his eye [audio/video]

Image via Wikipedia

Watch this MSNBC news clip of a toddler who had car keys lodged in his eye.  It has an audio clip of the 911 call and xrays of the embedded keys.  The boy was transported by medevac to hospital.

Has your child ever had anything embedded in its body?

Website lets you find names by personality traits

Image by soupboy via Flickr

There’s a new baby name generator out in the cyberworld.  It helps you pick a name by tradition, celebrity, or personality traits (that’s my favorite).

You can even generate a personal logo for each name (does not just apply to children) and then download it for baby gifts and memorabilia.

Check it out here.